earthsuit101.com Blog

Every man needs to have a couple things they can cook up in the kitchen. Sure, we can usually handle a “steak on the barbie,” but short of charing animal flesh over flames, being able to prepare a delicious meal for the family is the thing of legends. Thanks to boy scouts and a junior high chefs club (read: luring boys into the home-ec department to make cookies) I can actually prepare a number of meals that can fool the world into thinking I know what I’m doing. Now I’m sharing my knowledge and recipes with you.
Warning: Do not showoff your culinary interests and abilities too often! Otherwise your wife will begin to think you want to take part in the meal planning and preparation. That is a very slippery slope and you need not venture close to the edge. You can tell that you’ve crossed the line when your hand writing is all over the shopping list and you’re rushing home early from the gym to put the rice on. Be careful.

Maintain just a few secrete recipes. Make sure they are truly pleasing to the whole family. Since you aren’t going to be doing this too often, don’t worry about stuff like sugar, fat and salt. Personally, I never use non-food stuff like artificial flavors, colorings or shortenings…the idea is to wow them, not kill them.

Finally, You will have to clean up after yourself. Nothing ruins a delicious event-meal quicker than a fight about a dirty sink or flour on the floor. Just remember, the goal is to always keep the family wanting the experience and the delight that comes with your cooking. For some reason it’s not the same when the oregano is put back in the wrong spot. In fact…nothing will be said…it will just remind her that you are a great guy. I know women are complicated and even after twenty-five years of marriage I’m mostly clueless, but I’ve learned what works and what doesn’t. Leaving the salt on the wrong side of the flour is pardonable and maybe even endearing, but leaving potato skins in the sink stainer is an unforgivable sin.

Lets start with a sure-thing; chocolate chip pancakes. This recipe will make enough for six or seven people (don’t be afraid to half it). It’s a big hit with the kids when they have sleepovers. You instantly become the coolest Dad around.

Chocolate Chip Pancakes:

Start by heating griddle to 350 degrees. This is a good time to grease it with vegetable or olive oil or butter, wipe off excess.

I have mixed it into a big bowl by hand or with a electric beater, but I normally blend it on slow in a vitamix…fewer dishes, easy cleaning.

2 eggs

1 Cup buttermilk

1 and 1/2 Cup regular milk

4 Tablespoons of butter – melted (Lately I’ve been substituting Coconut oil amazing!)

1 teaspoon sugar

2 teaspoons baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

Mix or blend ingredients listed above
1 Cup whole wheat flour

1 and 1/2 Cup white flour

Mix or blend at slow speeds: Batter should pour easily

Make sure griddle is hot enough (a drop of water should spit on contact)

Pour slowly onto hot griddle (The secret for round pancakes is to let the batter flow out from the center)

Throw about a half dozen chocolate chips into the freshly poured pancake.
When bubbles form throughout pancake get ready, when some of them begin to pop, flip with a spatula or flipper. For extra drama flip lumberjack style with a frying pan. It takes forever to cook one at a time so I save the drama for camping.
Substitutions: No buttermilk? Use 1/2 Cup plain yogurt and two Cups of milk. No yogurt? Don’t fall into temptation to just use milk only. Go to the store and buy buttermilk. Remember it must be really great to make it worth doing. (Warning: Don’t ever let the kids smell or taste buttermilk it will ruin their appetite…besides your recipe needs to be kept a secret so mix it all up while they sleep.)

Blueberry’s can be used the same way, but then they wouldn’t be chocolate chip pancakes, would they?

Extra Special Occasions:  Pour regular sized pancake, then quickly pour two equal sized smaller ones at ten and two that will fuse into the main pancake…bingo you have a Micky Mouse pancake and a child’s heart. On cold winter days fuse three in descending order and you’ve got a snowman. Warning: Don’t do this more than once a year or on birthdays…trust me. Extra Warning: Generally it’s not ever a good idea to make food caricatures but for some reason it’s fine when it come to pancakes.